


What I Like About You

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [26]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 12:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4436336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following Dr. Matsuoka's advice, Sakaki attempts to express his affection for Yuki more clearly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Like About You

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**November 25, 2017**

The cold snap had finally broken that Saturday morning, and the students had grown restless, wanting to enjoy the comparatively warm weather before it turned unpleasant again. That half day of classes seemed longer than the usual full weekdays thanks to all the sighing and wistful glances out the window, boys dreaming of the warm sun. I'd dismissed second period early, not only because capturing the attention of ten bored teens had gotten annoying, but because I'd been distracted as well.

Rumors were probably flying already, judging from how shocked the students had been when I announced that class was over for the day. It was a problem at every school, but the students at Bell Liberty were exceptionally invested in keeping up with gossip. I didn't care; if someone expected to work as a teacher, especially at the high school level, they had to have a skin thick enough to ignore the sometimes vicious rumors that teenagers could spread.

Since class had ended nearly an hour early, I'd arrived back at the apartment well before noon. I had intended to settle down on the couch and finalize my lesson plans for the next few weeks, armed with a mug of black coffee and my favorite red pen. Instead, I was drawn to the balcony, lured by the bright sun and the unseasonably warm weather. It would be a shame to waste a rare pleasant day at the end of November by staying indoors. However, instead of working, I found myself staring out into space, the cigarette in my hand releasing curls of smoke as my mind wandered back over the events of the past few weeks.

So many stressful events had happened one after another. The fight with Asahina on the school beach, followed by reconciliation that night. The hassle of the health fair. The unexpected confrontation with Dr. Matsuoka, and the surprising resolution. And most recently, Asahina's naive jealousy and worry, which had prompted me to think more deeply about those issues.

Normally, if a lover started acting possessive of me, I wouldn't hesitate to dump him. But those were casual relationships, usually with men my own age or older. Asahina was inexperienced, unsure of how to handle the complex emotions that accompanied romantic relationships, and his attitude wasn't manipulative or controlling. Like everything else with Asahina, he was simply showing his honest reactions to each situation.

And there was nothing casual about my relationship with Asahina, no matter what any outsider might think if they discovered us.

Speaking of outsiders, I'd visited Matsuoka on Thursday as usual.

_He's insecure._

That's all he'd said in response to my explanation of the week's events. I brought the half-burned cigarette to my lips and drew in a deep drag, holding it as I remembered our conversation.

_What does Asahina have to be insecure about? He's the most popular student in the school. Half of his close friends are in love with him, and he's completely oblivious to it._

_He only has eyes for you. Which means he sees the eyes of others on you. It's the same for you, isn't it?_

_Are you saying I notice his friends' stares because I'm watching Asahina closely, or are you accusing me of feeling threatened by those kids?_

_I'm not accusing you of anything. It's up to you to tell me what you're thinking. I won't guess._

I sighed, releasing a cloud of smoke that lingered in the still air around me like a pale halo. Matsuoka was just like the therapist I'd tried out a few years back, attending only a couple of sessions before I deemed him useless and quit going. Too many questions, not enough answers. Always digging for information but never offering any solutions, as if making a concrete suggestion about how to deal with a situation was strictly forbidden. I could appreciate the importance of working out a difficult problem for myself, but if I was paying for a service, I expected to get _something_ of value out of it.

Of course, I wasn't paying Matsuoka for his time, and I didn't have a choice in seeing him. He'd set himself up as the gate between myself and Asahina, and I had to show up at the right times and say the right words, as if he was some sort of guard waiting for a password. I didn't quite _resent_ it - that was too strong a word - but it did make me uneasy, feeling that an outsider was watching us. The approval or disapproval of a single man who had nothing to do with our relationship could destroy the entire delicate connection.

 _It's not delicate,_ I reminded myself. If that was the case, it would have been broken long ago. Our bond had grown stronger with each resolved conflict, even if it was temporarily weakened at first. We didn't need someone checking in on us. We'd find our own way.

All those thoughts swirled around in my mind as I watched seabirds gliding lazily over the bay, but there was a part of me that felt relieved that there was someone out there who knew. The pressure to keep the relationship secret was immense, and having even a single person I could speak with openly was helpful. That the doctor was someone older, who seemed to have a lot of practical experience, not just as a professional but as an individual as well, was almost comforting.

I just wished he'd toss out a bit of practical advice every now and then instead of smiling cryptically and offering vague suggestions.

_If Asahina feels insecure, try reassuring him._

"Great advice," I grumbled, "but how about a concrete explanation of how to do that?"

_You know Asahina better than I do. Consider his personality and choose a method that takes his way of understanding the world into account._

Just thinking about his ambiguous answers made my head hurt.

The cigarette had burned down to nothing while I wasted time staring off into the distance. I stubbed it out in the nearby ashtray with a wry smile. Asahina was always hassling me about smoking, pleading with me to make an honest effort to quit. At this rate, I'd waste my entire stash without actually smoking a single one. He'd probably like that.

Deep down I wanted to quit, but with all the stress of the past few weeks, I couldn't help returning to the comfort of my habit. Somehow Asahina knew that I cheated when he wasn't around. Then again, it probably took only a trivial effort for him to sniff out even the faintest hint of smoke on my clothing.

Sometimes he reminded me of Nao, with that same concerned frown that only appeared on the faces of the few people who genuinely cared about me. Nao's frown had turned to a bright smile when I told him that I wanted to try giving up smoking. He had been my biggest supporter, always ready with words of encouragement or a handful of candy if the temptation grew too strong.

All that had gone to hell with his sudden illness and death.

 _I'm not thinking about this,_ I decided, pushing those thoughts aside with effort. I needed to stay focused on the issue at hand, not dwell on the past.

_Try reassuring him._

The only thing that would truly calm Asahina's worries was a heartfelt emotional appeal.

In other words, I would have to stretch myself yet again, forcing myself to be open rather than hiding behind the usual cool facade. Logically, I knew it was the right thing to do, and that stepping out of my so-called comfort zone was the only way I could strengthen my relationship with Asahina. But on some base emotional level, I resented being the one who had always had to make that sort of effort. Why couldn't Asahina adjust his expectations and be more understanding of my personality?

_Because my personality probably isn't supposed to be so closed off. Isn't that what drew me to Asahina in the first place, that ability to see beyond the surface?_

Damnit. My position was so unreasonable, I was losing arguments with myself. Sometimes I wondered if Asahina was more mature than me in some ways. Emotionally, anyway. It was easy to attribute it all to his blissful home life, where his young spirit had been nurtured and encouraged to blossom. But even under perfect conditions, the sprouts of weeds would never develop into roses.

And few roses could weather a harsh season without damage, like Asahina had.

I remembered the words I'd said to him that fateful evening, when I'd given up on resistance and chosen to surrender to his pursuit. "Even shoots of the same plant are all different, huh..."

Asahina was special. I felt the truth of that deeply every time he looked at me with those wide, trusting eyes or gave voice to the honest feelings he carried in his heart. He dug, gently, searching for my responses to his emotion. He wasn't disappointed that they were hard to find; rather, that only made him happier when he reached them, and strengthened his desire to do it again.

_Sometimes, when no one else is around, I can see the real you. That's the person I love._

The real me. What was that supposed to mean?

But no matter how dismissive I was of it, I knew he was right. When it came to emotions and relationships, Asahina was rarely wrong. Unfortunately, it wasn't so easy to undo over ten years of hiding myself from my family, my colleagues, and the few friends I'd managed to keep since the double betrayals in middle school. What would they say if they knew what I was really like?

_What I'm really like. Do I even know that myself?_

I'd been too busy trying to become the person my family wanted, at least on the outside, so I could be left in peace. The problem was that I'd invested so much time and energy in building that persona that I'd lost touch with everything I'd buried, including the good parts. Sensitivity and idealism had no place in the cutthroat world of international business, or, if you asked my father, in the personality of a dutiful son.

I reached for the pack of cigarettes, caught myself halfway. That was running away too, in its own way. Asahina wasn't the only one who needed to make changes.

I sighed again, probably for the hundredth time that morning, and turned my eyes back to the planner in front of me. Asahina would be arriving soon, and if I didn't finish my work before then, there was a very good chance that I'd be staying up late on Sunday night to get it done. Again.

~~~

I jumped at the sound of the sliding door squeaking open.

"Professor Sakaki, there you are!" Asahina bounced out onto the balcony, dressed simply in a long-sleeved t-shirt that was tucked into his jeans. Though I'd seen him in casual clothing many times, I was always amazed by how skinny he was, with slender limbs and a completely flat stomach despite how much and how often he ate.

I felt my lips curl into an unconscious smile in response to his presence, but his green eyes were narrowed a bit, lips slightly pursed in a dissatisfied expression. "I was so worried! I heard you left class early, and everyone's been saying that you must be sick or something!"

I shouldn't have laughed, but I couldn't help being amused by his exaggerated reactions. "Don't be taken in by silly rumors, Asahina. I got tired of those brats staring out the window and sighing all morning. No one was learning anything, so I came home to get some work done instead, see?"

His eyes scanned the table, but instead of looking at my planner and the other notebooks I'd brought outside, they fixed on the ashtray and narrowed even further. "Professor! You said you were trying to quit!"

Oh boy, he was especially fired up for some reason. Asahina normally didn't nag quite so much. Had the rumors about me leaving early worried him that much? "Trying and succeeding are different things, Asahina." Before he could protest, I continued, "Look, there's only one, and I only got one puff from it. The rest just burned while I was distracted by other things."

"Really?" He finally noticed my notebooks. "Oh, you were working..."

He was so cute with that doubtful little frown, it was a wonder I didn't grab and kiss him when I stood up. Instead, I placed one arm around his awkward broad shoulders and pushed him gently toward the door. "Here, let's go inside. There's something I want to talk about."

"Talk?" Asahina tensed under my arm, and I knew his mind was racing with the possibilities.

"Yeah, you know we can't talk outside. I have nosy neighbors."

"Right," he agreed, making a face as he remembered.

We walked together through the bedroom and back into the living room. I noticed that Asahina hadn't hesitated to take over upon arriving, dumping his school bag on the floor beside the couch and draping his heavy coat over the armrest. His presence had brought other, smaller changes throughout the apartment: a stack of light novels and comics on the coffee table, a single messy drawer of clothing in the bedroom, a second head for the electric toothbrush in the bathroom. All those little things were comfortable reminders that my life was no longer just my own. The time of shallow, short-term relationships had passed.

Doubt lanced through me, brief but bitter, stirring up the same questions as always: how could I be so sure? with someone so young? what if he changes his mind? what if I change my mind?

 _Stop it,_ I warned myself. _It's not about you today._

Asahina fidgeted, as if picking up on my mood. "Um, Professor...? Is something wrong?"

It was impossible not to smile when I looked at him. _Nothing's wrong when you're here._ "No, not at all. But," I closed the gap between us, pulling his warm body to me, "don't you want your welcome home kiss?"

"I do!" He tilted his face up and closed his eyes without any hesitation. It was only a brief kiss, hardly more than a pressing of lips, but I felt Asahina's body relax against mine, and he refused to let go when I moved away.

"Hey," I murmured, "you have to let go now."

He made a little sound of dissatisfaction, but released me, half-pouting. I motioned toward the couch and sat, and he plopped down beside me. It felt natural to wrap my arm around his back, drawing him closer. When had such casual intimacy become the norm? I wasn't sure; all I knew was that it felt warm, comfortable, and safe.

That's why I had to be sure Asahina felt the same way.

"You've seemed a bit insecure lately, Asahina."

His cheeks colored immediately, and his body tensed. "W- well, it's because you're so much better than me, so of course I worry about stuff!"

I held up my free hand and shook my head. "Stop right there. I don't want you saying things like that, they just shut down the conversation instead of furthering it. I know you're modest, but I need you to try putting that aside for a moment and listening closely. Can you do that, Asahina?"

His frown became more of a pout, and he nodded meekly.

"Good." I gave him a gentle squeeze with my arm. "I've been thinking about all the rough spots we've hit over the past few weeks, and I've realized that it's my fault for not being open with you. You're always honest with me, but I have a hard time talking about things openly. Do you agree?"

Somehow it was easier to say than I'd expected. It probably helped that I'd been turning the words over in my mind for weeks now, checking them carefully for unintentional meanings, slowly perfecting them. I only hoped they would sound sincere and not rehearsed. Even though they were practiced, they were so much more than that.

"Well..." he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. I could tell that he wanted to object.

"It doesn't bother me if you think that way. I'm aware of my own personality. The problem is that I haven't been considering how that's affecting our relationship." I met his eyes, and though he blushed, he didn't look away. "You're insecure because I haven't given you enough reasons to feel secure. Do you believe that I love you?"

"O- of course I do!" His eyes went round, as if he couldn't believe I'd ever ask such a thing.

"And do you know why?"

"Ummmm..." Asahina lowered his eyes, thinking. "I always do my best, I guess..."

Was he really that unaware of his own charm? Maybe not, but he certainly wasn't going to volunteer any guesses that he feared I might not agree with. "That's part of it. You spend a lot of time telling me that I'm smart, or mature, or that you like certain things I say or do, but I've realized that I don't do that for you, Asahina. So now it's your turn to listen."

He rubbed at the corner of his mouth, frowning slightly. "Um, okay..."

With all of Asahina's positive qualities, it was hard to find a place to begin. Or perhaps not. When had it all started? "You didn't give up on me. Even though I'd given up on myself years ago and tried to become the person I thought I should be, rather than the person I really am, you saw through that. You cut straight through the nonsense with your honest personality."

"I just wanted to know more about you..."

"Which means that on some level, you realized that there was more than what's visible on the surface. That was the first, and most important, reason. Once you started poking at me, I couldn't ignore you." I closed my eyes with a wry smile. "Maybe I didn't want to. You have a special charm that's hard to resist, Asahina. I couldn't manage it for long."

His face got a little red, and he stared down at his hands. "I'm not trying to do anything like that."

"I know." I opened my eyes, noting his lowered gaze. "That's what makes it special. People are drawn to you because they can sense that you're genuine. Remember, many of your close friends are also in my classes. I don't know the details of their situations, but I can tell that they've been improved in some way by their relationships with you."

Asahina pulled his lower lip into his mouth as if trying to hide his smile, but he couldn't quite manage it. Unlike many of the other students, entitled kids from wealthy families who were looking to make connections that would be valuable in the future, his concern was real. He didn't limit his concern to the sons of wealthy politicians or business owners, or boys who were already famous in their own right, athletes or prizewinners. Everyone was worthy in Asahina's eyes. Even me.

"It's only natural to help your friends," he finally said, but he was still smiling softly, as if remembering all the changes he'd helped bring about.

"That's true, but there's a difference between wanting to help and actually doing something of substance. And you don't expect anything in return, except maybe friendship."

"W, well, it's not right to help people just because you expect a reward..."

I nudged him with my shoulder. "You say that, but I'm fairly certain that half of the little favors you do for me are with hopes that I'll feed you afterward."

His face turned bright red. "But you're always the one who offers!"

I laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "That's true. It's a powerful motivator."

"Well, I can't deny that." He grinned, still blushing.

"See, that's one more thing. You're normal, Asahina. Your motivations are pure and your wants are simple." I reached out to stroke his cheek with my fingertips. "You're not like the students who think they deserve more than others, just because they're smarter or more athletic or won a contest. You're kind and modest, and you put others before yourself."

Asahina leaned his face into my hand with a tentative, embarrassed smile. "I don't _always_ think of other people first..."

"Even if you do it only half the time, that's still far more than the average person. It's no accident that you have so many close friends, or that everyone in the school supports you."

"But that's because of the Bell One!"

"Maybe, but _you're_ the one who ran out on stage to challenge me."

"Well, I'm the student council president, it's only natural."

That phrase again. He clearly didn't realize that what was natural for him was impossible for others. "It's only natural for _you_. Can you imagine the previous Ace acting so bravely and selflessly?"

Asahina squirmed a little. "I'm sure Hattori-san would have done it too..."

I snorted. How on earth could Asahina compare himself to someone so self-centered? That he could see the good in anyone was admirable, but sometimes he took it to extremes. _And that's what makes you special,_ I thought, looking at his pouting lips.

"Yeah, to get the attention and praise of others. That wasn't your motivation. Even if the actions look the same on the outside, your motives are pure. You weren't thinking about winning points with the other students, you genuinely wanted to protect the school. You were angry because the proposal to close it was unfair and didn't make sense. Isn't that right?"

He looked down again, scratching at his cheek. "Y- yeah... it's true."

I turned my body so I could wrap both arms around him. "That's what makes you special. I see you moving through a world that's filled with impure, self-serving motivations, but none of that touches you. You trust people without question, even though that blind faith might harm you in the end, because you can't stand the sadness of a reality where no one is trustworthy. And if someone hurts you, you assume that there's a deeper reason than simple malice, and you search for it. That's why we're together now, isn't it?"

Asahina clung to me, his cheek hot against my shoulder, and I could feel the fine trembling of his body as he tried to hold back words, or maybe emotion. I smoothed one hand over his messy hair, knowing that he liked the ticklish feel as it settled back into place.

"You don't give up when challenged, you just get stronger. That's why I love you, Asahina. All those things, and more that I can't put into words just yet."

He was silent for a few moments, and he finally gathered himself enough to protest, "That's too much praise!" But his voice was bright, and I knew he was smiling.

I bent my neck, placing my lips to his ear. "No, it's not."

He shivered. "But..."

"You've more than lived up to your name. Yuki."

At that single word, his cheek burned against mine. "Oh..."

I was so close that I barely had to breathe the words. "What is it?"

"Y- you've never called me that before."

"You don't like it?"

"It's not that... it's just... I wasn't expecting it. It's really..."

"Intimate?" I kissed the soft skin in front of his ear, and Asahina sucked in a quiet breath.

"Y... yeah..."

I pulled away before the scent of his hair and the warmth of his embarrassment could tempt me into teasing him more. "Sometimes I wonder if your personality was shaped by your name, Asahina. Or was it just another lucky coincidence?"

"My personality, huh..." He was pouting again. I couldn't fathom why, until that pout was replaced by a mischievous little grin that was accompanied by a sound that was half laugh, half snicker.

"Not again," I groaned, but I just moved my arms out of his way as he got up and climbed into my lap, slim legs straddling my thighs as he grasped my shoulders with both hands.

"Hey, Professor, forget my personality for a minute. What do you like about my body?"

"Let's see," I murmured, placing my hands on his hips as I looked him up and down. Honestly, Asahina's frame, taken on its own, was skinny and awkward. It was what could be done with that warm and willing body, and how he reacted, that made him irresistible.

"You're taking too long to answer," he complained.

Fine, if he was going to push, he might not like the answer. "I like that you can eat twice as much as me without gaining a single gram. Very impressive."

He punched my shoulder. "That's not a compliment!"

"Maybe not, but you're always saying you want to hear my honest feelings. You can't go punching me when all I'm doing is what you asked." I tried to frown at him, but it was hard to fake it with Asahina's silly grin right in front of my face. "It's true. I wish I had your metabolism, then I wouldn't have to work so hard at staying in shape. You think this great body happens without any effort?"

Asahina made a face like he didn't quite believe it. "I don't see you going to the gym or anything..."

"That's because kids aren't allowed in the staff dorm. There's a small staff gym."

"Really?" He looked surprised, but then his expression clouded. "Hey, you're talking about yourself, not me! I want to hear what's nice about me!"

Asahina always got demanding when he was in the mood. His sudden bossiness was a surer sign than the warmth of his skin or the blush on his cheeks - which could be caused by all sorts of things, including the sight of a particularly shapely donut. I could feel the heat radiating from his body even through the thick fabric of his jeans, and his hands were hot on my shoulders. I probably couldn't get away with teasing him much longer.

"But there's so many things I want to say, I can't decide," I replied, trying to hide my smile. "In fact, explaining it all would be too annoying."

Asahina giggled, pleased with the silly explanation. "You sound like Tomo."

I pinched his side, and Asahina squeaked. "Don't mention Kasahara at a time like this. What I was _trying_ to say before you spoiled the mood was that instead of telling you, I'll show you. Isn't that better?"

Before he could protest, I leaned close and captured his mouth with mine. He wavered for a moment, wanting to resist in protest of my teasing, but it only took a few seconds before he gave in. His body melted against mine, his arms slipping around my shoulders to pull me closer. I wrapped my own arms around his lower back, sliding the tips of my fingers into the hem of his jeans. At that, he made a little sound of approval, and I used that opportunity to press my tongue into the wet heat of his mouth.

When we parted, Asahina's cheeks were stained red, his lips parted as he panted lightly. I reached up to pet his cheek with the backs of my fingers, and he tilted his face into my touch, eyes dropping halfway shut in contentment. Then he leaned forward and pressed his face to the side of my neck, nuzzling my shoulder.

"Can we go to the bed?" he breathed.

That needy tone drew a sigh from my lips. "Why not right here?"

~ end ~


End file.
